Where in the world is Sue O.

Great idea Noah! I wish I knew where I was, it is hard to tell sometimes It is all good though. It is Tuesday afternoon and I will try and recount a bit of the adventures.

Hmmmm let me start with today and then jump to Sunday and perhaps somewhere in here think about Monday. So today is the 2nd day of school. I am loving it there, extremely relaxed and the kids are wonderful. There are so many shapes, sizes and accents. There is 1 from India, today she said, 'miss sue, this is interesting, I am from India and I have never been there only my brother has." That was much more effective with the accent, I assure you. Another from Canada, he is the darkest of skin of all, an Afrikaner, Greek (is there a greek accent?), couple of Brits, Swahili speakers, Swedish and probably more.
I am intent on learning the language, at least some moments I am. So intent that i still do not know the students names, I am far too busy repeating swahili words from the little cheat seat I haver made and am hiding in my pocket. Maybe I will start wearing long sleeves and writing up and down my arms, hmmmm I am liking that idea.

So I am up early, 6ish and I begin to study, or have for 2 days. I think I am doing quite well as I have learned about 10 words or expressions in swahili, now to be able to use them when i need them. Actually, well, really i only have hello, 'habari' (think habachi and you imagine cooking on the african safare,,, and you have it in no time) but there are about 8 more ways so i use my simple one and they reply with something i have no clue about... i am close to getting please out in time.....tafadali i have to say 'do it TO and FOR ALI, to remember what it is, sometimes i have to also say,,, ali the boxer, would not have to say please. So of course you can imagine how effective it is if i ever get it out, basically it is like the next day. But I arrived with habari and have learned, thank you since I have been here, asanti.

Rafe wrote and reminded me yesterday that I can always resort to the expression he decided we knew even if we never really did and still don't, 'i can eat ice cream with my baby in swahili' or some such thing. Rafe, I would like to point out that you neglected to write this in swahili for me and you were the expert with that expression.

Let me jump to yesterday when I was comfortable only with the habachi cooking apparatus word and had to go and try to buy food. I had a tea bag at the apartment left to keep me alive. Oh MY GOSH what an adventure! And I say that will all the enthusiasm I can muster. I walked for hours, only almost got lost, but when new in a place it is often hard to discern what building is what and so I walked past the more regular food stores and into the market and bus area before I could see anything that might sell what was needed to keep me alive. All of a sudden I was on a series of streets with old tires, piles of used shoes, most not in pairs, and bins of food stuff, some of it even recognizable. The rice, I see, I saw it ,,,, I want it,,,, but it took a good hour before I dared venture in and buy any. My rice transaction happened only because my escape route was suddenly blocked from behind me. I had already bought a couple of things and was pretty much satisfied with this, or too terrified to dare ask for anything else. But this second round sounded something like, 'puedo....oh no,,,wrong, errrrhhh uuuuhhhhhhh ' point, point, say things like 'ugh' some more, point to my stomach, smile, try not to notice how weird I seem and how out of place I am, the only foreigner on some muddy back street of Iringa. We did manage to communicate, I do think the man started to say 'ugh' as well, this may have been the ticket to our success. He probably thinks he now knows a foreign language.

We both realized that the simplest words were no where to be found. So he held up a weight, probably a kilo, maybe? I held up a coin, definitely a 1,000 = $1. He held up 2 fingers, I said, "ugh' and held up the coin meaning, 'no, i don't have that much money, I only have one.' One coin is 1000, which is about a dollar. He held up the smaller weight, we both said, "ugh." And he put the weight on and began to shovel in rice. He finished this and held his empty hands out to me, since there was no accompanying, 'ugh,' I was clueless.

Somehow I realized,he wanted a bag, probably some hand motion. I could handle this, I rifled through my fanny pack and I found my torn envelope from my plane tickets and began to create a functioning container. He found this utterly unacceptable and used old, dirty newspaper instead. Clearly an improvement. That is not even the wierd part, he then, after holding up that '1' finger repeatedly in reaction to my holding up the 1,000 coin, and our agreeing to purchasing enough rice at the cost of '1', he gave me change. So the rice which will last for at least 3 days, 2 meals cost about .70 cents. Not bad, this should make up for my first transaction of the cashews and 2 tiny boxes of milk that cost me close to $9.

I bought the cashews and milk in my first successful store experience. Fairly uneventful. I got to use my one word a few times in both occasions,, 'Asanti,' smile, take a few steps, 'Asanti,' smile again and try to leave again without saying it again. Even though my cashew and milk story is fairly uneventful, I will admit that it was enough of a stress for me to have a HUGE internal struggle to venture into any other store to buy anything else. I had been fairly insistent with myself that these 2 things would be sufficient. Just keep smiling and walking until I dare buy something else!

I also had limited cash, still do and the 2 bank machines I dared try were out of money. I don't know how many of you have noticed, but I am now fluently using 2 words, habari and asanti. Asanti is thank you.

Well I ended the day, fairly proud of myself because I added to the list a loaf of bread, can of peanut butter, yes can and a lime that is really an orange, but tastes like neither and 3 tomatoes, Yes 3. So I have now eaten 3 meals have been rice, undercooked and crunchy because the stove 'sucks' with tomatos, onion (i 'borrowed' one from housemate), cashews and the lime, orange that tastes like neither and really should be thrown away. Oh yes and tea!

It is so weird to have no words. Your mouth starts to feel funny. I tend to throw out some version of spanish words since that has worked for the past 11 years while traveling and terrified. You have to push yourself to go out in the world. I stayed out yesterday for hours, it was wonderful really. I know that I might not be communicating this, because it is wonderful and terrifying and sometimes icky. But the overriding sense is wonder and excitement.

My living space is cushy. My housemates all 3 are quite young. Mostly good, just too young to serve any useful purpose for me. The man looks like Hans, so I kinda love him. He has the sweet, funny pieces of Hans too, and laughs quickly as Hans does. HI HANS. I have a room and a bed and windows and bugnet and table and light. hmmm lots of closet space. It's outstanding. There is a big kitchen which housemates decimate within hours of the cleaning and cooking lady departure. Something smells of rotting fruit and I am sure it is the molding, rotting fruit that we all pretend doesn't exist.

Oh, yes hot shower as long as you remember to turn the heater on 45 minutes before shower time. Oh my word, I arrive with great sunburn on my shoulders and the shower spray was like some torture technique. There is this light spray that blasts your eyes when you approach the water and of course makes you chilled, so you jump all the way under to possibly be scaulded and most definitely pounded by the intensity of the inner spray. But it is warm and clean enough and it is here. We are in a gated community, right down the mountain from the school. There is also an outstanding restaurant that the school director brought me to the 1st night. This too is right here in safety zone.

If only I had more than $2 to my name I would go there right now. But I don't and anyways I do not want to waste that crunchy rice dish. What the heck, I have my computer, my room, my swahili dictionary and well all of that wonderful food I have previously mentioned. Maybe I will try adding some peanut butter to my dinner later tonight.

There is supposedly a couple of other good places to go and hang out in town, but i saw nothing that I would dare to enter without armed guards, ok, without someone with me. It was not unsafe feeling really, just very foreign and poor.

Oh, my , but the colors I say again and will say repeatedly. So very beautiful. The women wear bright African clothing (that African was intended as a joke, but thought I had better clarify) the top and bottom is often of extreme variation in pattern, but with some of the same tones or colors. Blasts of yellow, lime greens, oranges, oh....... it makes me so happy to see. I did dare to stop and touch a few bunches of clothes outside of shops yesterday. The women smiled quite nicely at me and I think they understood that I needed to do this to comfort myself and because I really do appreciate their world and most especially the colors. The streets are lined with people doing work, sewing machines are outside of wooden slats built shacks, the cloth hangs for people to choose from. It seems as though most food stores sell one or two items. I can't wait to find the bean store as I do want to eat enough to stay healthy,,, and the carrot store. I did find the cabbage store, it was the one selling the fake limes. And it was only a tiny stand with too many young boys sitting outside saying things to me, to dare buy 2 things there. So I could resort to cabbage if in fact a carrot store does not exist. A few were sharpening knives and cutting up truck tires to make sandles. And then there were plenty sitting on tilted back plastic chairs waiting patiently for someone to buy something. I kept waiting for a face to invite me in. But I know from experience that this white, terrified, smiling face is not going to draw invitations, it will not be until i really relax that I will be welcomed. And then, as I also know from experience, my welcome will be absolute and a pure delight. I did have a touch of it in the rice stall, as I was leaving and repeating 'asanti' i heard giggling, my simple attempts to use their language brought that special laughter that I hope one day all of you have a chance to experience.

This laughter is the one that breaks down all barriers. My vulnerability is known, their vulnerability that is an internalized reaction to a white foreigner is known by the way they look in surprise at me trying to speak and being absolutely foolish, all is dispelled in that magic moment. Laughter, eye contact, comfort. It is beautiful and as I write it, I hope for the mental capacity to grab hold of enough of this language to have many more moments like this.

I spoke to a very nice parent today at school. Intense european accent, very beautiful woman. I am imagining that she will invite me to dinner. There is no reason to believe this might really happen, only that I do so want to have someone other than my students to speak to. Next week is vacation and virtually everyone is going off to travel. The director, Kristeen, who is extremely sweet is returning and she is sure to come and save me from extreme isolation at some point, but otherwise, I cannot imagine what I shall do. Study, walk, hmmmmmm. No worries, life will unfold.

My real plan, if i choose to accept it, is to learn enough swahili to be able to really venture out with the ability to say something that gets results. That should happen by the weekend. We shall see. I did buy an electric cord yesterday. The wrong kind and it doesn't actually plug in to the sockets, but I did manage the sale. I learned that while there is a word for electricity, there is not one for the adaptor that I bought. I have no clue what the word for electricity is anymore, but i did get to use my 'thank you' quite a few times in that situation too.

I guess this is probably getting a bit boring.

I can tell you about my bus ride though before I end. The bus station was absolutely terrifying, nothing less. Fortunately I had a taxi driver named Michael that took care of me, he actually held my hand at one point to make sure I was safe as he pushed through the throng of screaming men. I cannot explain the place. Just horrible, like a shanty city in itself, hundreds of old, smoking buses, mud, shacks that I guess sold stuff. I could only get tickets to a bus line that was unheard of and so not recommended. All I knew of the unrecommended bus companies was that they drove too fast, often broke down and just as often crashed on the windy mountain roads. You can imagine my delight.

Though I actually was delighted to get into my seat., my bags we watched as they were put under the bus. But seat, did I use that word. Hardly, when I sat up straight there was less than an inch in front of my knees, this was before the person in front reclined her seat, I dont think mine reclined, but it is a moot point because once the family of a mom and 2 kids sat on top of each other (and often me) in the single seat next to me, I could only move one arm a fraction of an inch. I could manage my twist my wrists to get to the container of nuts and dried fruit in my backpack. Every hour or so, I would reach in and stuff a handful into my mouth, chew slowly and be happy to have food. It was from Seattle and very delicious. Oh, yes, I did not mention that my day pack that was, of course, overstuffed, was on my lap. It made for a nice pillow for the kids next to me, served as a heater for my body and eventually blocked circulation to my feet. The last couple of hours of the 8 hour bus ride, I struggled against that ucky feeling of feet numbing, tingling and swelling. I did get off the b us once, which is really good since I still had remnants of the urinary tract infection and 8 hours without a bathroom, no good. (for the first time in my life my two smallest toes cramped for a good hour as I was trying to sleep and the marks from the straps on my shoes took hours to disappear, I guess the swelling was worse than I thought, really I was just so happy to be safe on a bus, A bus I point out did not crash, break down nor run out of gas).

I know you are thinking when is she going to describe the res stop bathroom, But no such luck, I am not going to. I am tired of sounding like I am absolutely terrified and tortured. I am not, but to describe the bathroom would only disprove this and so your imaginations will have to suffice. I will on the other hand tell you that in my dramamine haze, I took 2 pills to hide the intensity of my need to urinate, usually just a half puts me in a stupor that takes hours to recover from. But in this haze the delightful squeals of the two sweeties next to me woke me enough to see herds of giraffes, real live zebras and other things that I am pretty sure were wildebeasts. Oh and one white face, HUGE, monkey. I am not making this up. There really are these fantastic animals on this earth. Some of the giraffes were as close as 30 feet from the bus and their silly long necks were allowing their owners to eat leaves from the highest of branches. WOW.

Continuing on my positive notes, I was met at the bus station (yes, I had no idea if it was the bus station or not, had I missed the bus station, and why am I calling them bus stations, since they are not really stations, but muddy lots with screaming men, no signs or any indicators of our where abouts) but when I saw a white face holding the hand of the most beautiful light brown 3 year old. This was a very encouraging scene, but when the mom mouthed the words , ' sue,' well, I might as well burst into tears of delight. When I could squeeze my way off the bus, i actually grabbed kristeen, my school director and hugged her and said something, then repeated it , A LOT. Guess this is the best I can do, find some words that seem to work and just keep repeating. I have never been happier than in that moment. The evening was a blur, but a good one, I was fed, and given shelter. Ahhh life is a good thing.

Let me know if any of you actually made it through this, it has been a most terrific, in a good way, a most terrific experience despite the harrowing aspects.

Only 2 more days of work and then vacation, yehaaaaa.

besos, I promise those of you that are coming to visit, I will rent you a car to get here........ love